Animal Kingdom

Now that I've been out here for a few months and have settled down, it's about time I check out something other than the multiple types of Tequila shots and how best to drink down a sunset. I came up with a bunch of activities I want to get through in my time in San Diego and so two weekends ago, Anne and I hit up the San Diego Zoo. I was a bit skeptical that it would live up to it's billing at first. The way Ron Burgundy hyped it up, I was expecting the best and to my surprise, it absolutely lived up to billing.

A huge pool of flamingo's awaits your gaze as you enter and plot your course for the afternoon. It was a gorgeous day (high of 73) and despite our early start, the zoo was packed. We got started in "Tiger river" because Anne had a huge desire to see the "Big Cats" but "Tiger River" was so much more than a giant flesh-eating tiger. It started off with a couple of these weird animals with phenomenal beards whose name actually was "_____ bearded_____" and originate from southeast Asia. The didn't really move around that much or do anything cool, but I was fascinated with their facial hair. This isn't terribly surprising because the closest I can get to growing a beard is a ridiculous half-assed neck beard. Further down the path we came upon some Tapir's and a HUGE Python, who clearly had eaten something rather large recently. Quickly moving on, we meandered through Tiger River until we got to the Tiger's lair where of course, we couldn't see the Tiger. This Malayan Tiger was hanging out in the top corner of the pen pacing back and forth like something was seriously bothering him (maybe being trapped in a faux 'natural' habitat, but I wouldn't know, I'm not a Tiger.)

After Tiger River, we proceeded through the Ituri river and came upon the Hippo's! They didn't appear to be very Hungry opting instead two lay on top of each other, adjusting every few minutes. For the record, they are ENORMOUS, and do not respond to crowds urging them to jump in the water. We hung out for a little while hoping against hope that the Hippo's would oblige and go for a dip but after it appeared that they would not, we moved on to the rest of the forest. After checking out a few cool monkeys we hiked up to the Polar Bears. With the temperatures in the mid 70's I expected the Polar Bears either be in the water or in some sort of air conditioned area but they were just hanging out in the sun which got me to thinking. I'm a full believer in Global Warming but the image you always hear about are "How are the Polar Bears going to survive in a warmer climate?" Well, I can tell you they seemed to be doing just fine in the San Diego Zoo... but then again, they also are fed by humans and live in a contained area 4.4 acres in size.

To wrap it up, we decided to check out the Lions, some napping Brown Bears, the Hyena's
and these monkeys who went absolutely nuts when we a bunch of people showed up in their area. One Monkey in the first cage started hooting and then all of a sudden, they all started jumping around their cages making a ton of noise. Something must have happened because one of the zoo keepers showed up and checked on the cages but the monkeys continued on, jumping and screaming at a very high pitch. We got out of dodge and headed to my favorite exhibit...the Elephants. First, they are the largest land mammals on the planet but most importantly, they eat for 18 hours a day. Now that's an animal I can hang with. The San Diego Zoo has three elephants in the pen and literally they didn't stop eating for a moment. It's a pretty fucking awesome life. Eating 18 hours throughout the day and sleeping for the other 6. Sign me up! Unfortunately we missed the Panda's and any Ron Burgandy sightings but I can't wait to go back and check out the Panda's, Koala's and most importantly, the Gorilla's. I hear they throw shit at little kids which, let's be honest, is hilarious. With my luck however, they'll probably throw it at me and I'll be the asshole. This is my life friends.